Road on becoming a nerd

1. People try to find their way to run from becoming a nerd. Wherever you go, nerd always being labeled as the lowest person in a cast. I cannot. I just cannot. Why is that? Because i live the way i used to be. And in fact, maybe im becoming one.

2. I don't have a cool childhood experience. All i remember when i was a child, is im the one who people depend with; to bring my family out from the poverty and being look down by many people.

3. Today, all i do is sitting in front of my computer, or study, have my meal, go watch movie, and nothing else. No party, no club, no anything. I am a man with religion also, i believed what i learn and i will learn more.

4. The only thing i love to do is to write something, tell a story to someone and think. I love to think and be opened to everything. That is why sometimes i call myself a free thinker. Sometime i doubt a lot of thing. And i study what i doubt. However, i got rules. I will never step over the line because i'm fine with the line that i draw earlier.

5. Now im 23, i don't give a damn and hell about being a nerd or being a cool or anything. What is important to me is to be myself. I love being myself. I love speaking with my own mind and did not involved others in my thinking. All my opinion is from the bottom of my heart or from the cortex of my brain. I never take someone opinion and burst it like mine.

6. That is why i sometimes became so offensive. I always look at everything around me. Every lines that are not straight, i would always write about it, make a journal and notes about it. My only reason is for people to think and somehow notice that anomalies other than me.

7. And i hate face to face. Every primitive creatures in the planet keep holding this primitive principle. What happen with this principle, look around. Who always throw a line like this? Calling the opponent face to face? simple, dictators, and gangs. Bad people. Impatient people. The world is changing. If you can see today, indirect attack bring more changes than a direct one. That is why i guess, everything we do must have an agenda. That is why Obama make speech in cairo, and every leader in the world have a speech on their own. that is why a terrorist bomb a train or bus. Blog, email, facebook, twitter is proven to be more and more effective in bringing changes.

8. And lastly, a writer lie to tell the truth, and a politician lie to cover the truth. What i am trying to do is to tell the truth. How i feel about something. What a waste if i tell the truth to a person if i can tell it to millions of them. Do you remember the open letter by Tun Mahathir and lot of open letter to destroy the medical school reputation. I call the second coward. But what the first done is clever. If a notes or letter ot anythng goes to your enemy, what will they do about it?

this is why, an open policy is so important. Transparent policy. The art of writing to touch many.

I keep my promise since the year 2006 when i closed my previous blog. My promise is to write a very sharp sentences without puting someone's name in it so that i will make sure that no one will be identified directly. If you are hardworking enough, read all my writing. They are some writing where i put a name and diss and mock that person directly when i'm completely goes insane and mad about that person. I will do it if necessary.